No, I'm not talking about instagramming your perfect coffee, picturesque cocktail, or the trendy new boutique you found.
I'm talking about letting people take photos of YOU.
Did you just cringe? 2 years ago I would've.
I felt like every photo of me aside from the occasional selfie or a rare trifecta of perfect lighting, angles, and backdrop, was AWFUL. Anything candid had to be reviewed by me especially if it was going to be posted.
I was super annoying. Noone (besides my grandma) could just snap a shot without my approval. Because I hated how I photographed.
I felt such a disconnect between the mirror and photos.
And I'd rather not have any taken if I wasn't in control.
And then I was at my Great Grandma's wake. The glimmer of light at those functions is always the photos. The boards of polaroids & disposable prints, the memory books, I love it all.
And I have NEVER ONCE looked at them and thought "wow they look like they could lose some weight" or "their face looks super puffy their." E V E R
I always think about how in love they look, or how amazing it is that their sass was captured perfectly on film, or how I wish I could ask them about that vacation or neighborhood or job.
That stream of thought is how I weirdly became okay with people taking photos of me.
I had been reading more and more about body positivity and anti diet culture; truly examining my relationship with my body and image for the first time. I realized that even just a year after an event I look back on it with such different eyes, I never think I look awful in photos from the past though I remember feeling awful when they were taken.
Photos are a moment in time, captured for a myriad of reasons, and despite what instagram has conditioned us to think not every image has to be the best lighting, angle, or backdrop.
The point of a candid photo during a family dinner is not to portray you in all of your glory or one up people on social media. The point is to capture that feeling, being with those people, eating that food, having FUN.
Sometimes you don't even realize how big a moment is until it's passed.
And like, not to be morbid but don't you want to make sure your loved ones have some moments to remember you by?
Here are 3 photos I HATED at the time, the first is when we surprised my Grandpa with the makings of his favorite cocktail on Christmas, the second is baking with my Grandmother (a yearly tradition!), and the last is at the Irish festival with my parents.
(and if you're thinking "but you don't look awful in those photos" don't you think it's possible that other people might think the exact same thing about yours ?)
If you're so inclined post a photo you hated at the time but are glad you have on insta and tag me @sweetcostocle + use the #justtakethedamnphoto
Even if it's just on stories, I'd love to see them & encourage everyone to capture their memories and let go of some stress this holiday season.
CHEERS,
SC
P.S. this is a practice. I still look at photos taken of me and sometimes think
"Jesus christ, DELETE" but I take a second, breathe, and remind myself of everything I spelled out here and the fact that a bad photo of me floating around is hardly the end of the world.